Today has been a long day.
First off, it rained,.
Beautiful, misty droplets of moisture. That lovely smell. The air, so clear and fresh.
Then the cat jumped through the kitchen window with all the elegance of a herd of Buffalo. His muddy paws danced across the worktop leaving his calling card everywhere.
While clearing up Dave the cat's 'fingerprints', the smoke alarm started wailing.
The 5 year old started screaming, and the 2 year old ran around the living room, hands over her ears doing her best 'nee-naw' impression.
The toast? Well.. The toast was burnt to a cinder.
Toddler calmed down, and 5year old comforted, round two of the battle between me and the toaster began.
The 2year old turned all Peppa Pig on the school run, jumping in every last bit of mud she could find.
Now usually, I don't mind this too much, but in true Peppa-esque sty-lee she laid down in the biggest mud puddle she could find and proceeded to writhe about in it in hysterics.. That fricking pig as a lot to answer for.
Following a bath and a new change of clothes, 'Peppa' decided that since the 'sun had dried up all the rain, Mummy' she would venture into the garden and play in the sand pit. A mere 10 minutes later, outfit number 3 made it's appearance.
The day continued along these lines until 3pm when the big girls returned home from school. Today I also had a 'tag-a-long' in the form of my friends child. So all 6 of us trudged home in the heat.
All tetchy and tired from their day, the 4 girls bickered for an hour, while the boy decided to use his very first tooth, which made it's debut today, to munch on a cocktail sausage!
Tag-a-long went home, just as the Norfolk Councils School Nurse made her belated appearance.
What should have been a 20 minute care plan review for the 6year olds epilepsy, turned into a 2 hour free-for-all.
I will not bore you with the details of that, I can barely get my head 'round it myself.
Needless to say, everyone was in a foul, exhausted, drained kind of mood.
I, in all my wisdom, decided to get out some craft things for the big girls to have fun with, in a vain attempt to lift their spirits.
What I wasn't expecting, was them to move from the neatly layed out, covered table to my living room rug.
And that's when it happened..
Three hours later, and I'm still finding sparkling remains on the rug, carpet, sofa and curtains.
Poor Tinkerbell didn't stand a chance in the hands of my terrorist toddler.