Tuesday, 26 January 2010

PND, Kids and other annoyances...

PND has kicked in, in a major way. For those of you not in the know, its that kind of shitty depression you get after you've shat out a football sized devil spawn.. this time i'm referring to little Mr. C..

Don't get me wrong I often gush about my sproglings but today is not that kinda day.

Yesterday was crap, lots of errends and to-ing and fro-ing... with at least 2 of the kids in tow which didn't help the whole PND situation. Then dance class after school for the big 2 I had an extra one so not only did I have to cart all 4 of mine out but someone elses 'little darling' aswell.
The dance teacher called me 'the pied piper' everytime she sees me i seem to have more kids with me!

To top this all off , I dropped £15 in the hour of dance class as I 'had' to buy 2 dance company t-shirts as the girls are going to be preforming at the fayre in the summer... oh the joys! and Mr. C had his first set of baby jabs too which has left him feeling just as grumpy as me!

Today isn't much better.. I have a day at home today. I have housework today. I have laundry today. Today isn't good...

Miss B is craving my attention on a one-to-one basis.. which is a no go as Mr. C is still as grumpy as he was yesterday and is also wanting to be sitting on me at every given opportunity. Today is going to be 'fun'!

Both of my neighbours have dogs, I on the other hand have cats.. 2 of the little buggers Jackson and Dave. They are brothers. They are sods! well Dave is!

The old lady who lives on the left is one of these horrible old battleaxes who hates kids (good place to rent your house love, next door to someone who has 4!) hates cats and thinks shes a pornstar in the making.. the noises i hear from her 'computer' room equipted with webcam (yes she is that kind of discusting old cow) are, lets just say disturbing at the very least.. and LOUD!
She owns a 'rat on a lead' and parades it around the neighbourhood like it's the best thing since sliced bread.. it's rather inappropriately named 'Randy'.

The neighbours on the right are a young pair with a child (although the bloke is not the kids dad) they have 2 dogs, both labs. The golden one is 'oringially' named Marley... guess whos a fan of Owen Wilson and Jenifer Anison.

Jackson and Dave are terrified. Dave has a heart murmur and Jackson pisses blood in my bath evertime he so much as smells a dog.. I'm sure you can imagine the size of my vet bills.

Today all i'm hearing is fucking dogs trying to communicate with each other across my 6ft garden fences... SHUT THEM THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!

Rant over, have a nice day..

Friday, 8 January 2010

2010 - The year of the Tiger..Grrrrrrr

My family in Chinese Zodiac:

Me: Dog ~ (Don't even go there..)

Mr. D ~ Dragon

Miss. L ~ Goat

Miss. A ~ Rooster

Miss. B ~ Boar

Mr. C ~ Ox

As I sit here today, in the year of the Tiger, I wonder what it all means?

Mr. D and I have been together 10years (well, come this July anyway) that was the year of the Dragon.. Is this significient? Also being his birth year? Does any of this crap even matter..?

Well 10 (ish) years down the line and 4 kids in tow, 3 girls, L (6), A (5) and B (2) and our little boy who is currently snoozing on me as I type. Bless him little C is only 11weeks old. I'm getting to thinking what the future holds now that our family is complete?

It's scary to think that in a few short years I will be forced back into the land of early morning alarm clocks, commutes, packed lunches and 35hour or so weeks... Actually that doesn't sound half bad when you compare it to my current reality.

2 children in nappies, which need frequent changing. (I think they inheritted their arses from Mr. D)

2 school aged kids who, no matter how many times they are shown/told cannot seem to work out how to use the toilet or toilet paper correctly..

2 school runs to do plus various toddler&baby groups to attend

Then there is the obligatory housework... This requires a blog of its own.

The amount of clothes washing I have to pile through in a week is similar to that of a professional laundrette.. it truely is never ending.

Then there's the washing up... I don't have fancy gadgets in my kitchen, mores the pity, so I have to DIY and when Mr. D has been let loose in the kitchen it is not a pretty sight!

My working week doesn't have a start or finish time. It doesn't come with good pay, holidays or even such mere things as 'breaks' lunch or otherwise. It rarely includes an 'assistant' but always a headache, a big overdraft and hair loss..

Don't get me wrong, being a parent is very rewarding too. All those little milestones to be cherished and committed to long term memory. All the smiles, and the laughter, and best of all the embarrassing moments you have in public with the little darlings!

The kind of embarrassing moments I'm getting at are the ones which make you chringe and it's not just the kids it's Mr. D too!

For example, we were in Tesco one Christmas and Mr. D lets one go, down the turkey isle (that's NOT a euthanisum!) he pauses only to whisper in my ear, a single word.. 'RUN'

Before I can ask what the hell he's going on about, the air fills with what I can only describe as a kind of thick smog like sewer odour.. I start to quicken my pace as my lungs and nostrils begin to burn.. As I'm about to exit the foul smelling isle, I overhear an old lady tell her husband (and I quote) 'We're not getting the turkey from here Arthur, they all smell off..'

Miss L is just as chringeworthy.. Running the length of a bus while shouting for all the hear that the big hairy biker bloke that had got on at the last stop and sat behind us was a 'Gorrilla' and was going to eat us all!!

Or the time when she said to her aunt, that she didn't think she'd be able to fit into her little wedding car as she is 'too big and fat' to get in it.. (now this one was almost confirmed true, it was a huge squeeze to shoehorn her into that vehicle, but that's hardly the point!)

I'm no angel and I'm certainly not perfect, but i'm pretty damn close ;-)