Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Dear me - Part deux

In my last post I felt very lost and alone.

In this post I will be explaining why today, I feel the exact opposite!

Bipolar is a funny thing.

It's not something you can freely talk about for the most part. People don't understand. Mostly, and even from the OH, I get 'Are you on your period or something?' This annoys me beyond belief.

I get the comments like 'Just take some happy pills',  'It can't be that bad' and 'It's just depression' and of course there are my personal faves 'It's only a phase, we all go through it at some point' and 'Snap out of it'
Brilliant. Remind me to call you when I'm having moments of despair and panic attacks, for your very comforting and supportive words, that should pull me right on through.

Thankfully, this week bought with it some exciting news!
I will be attending CyberMummy on 25th June 2011 in London.
Now this, in its own right is worthy of all of my excitement flooding out of me in one fell swoop, but Monday morning, Drew and I woke up and decided to make the most of it (The lure of our very first overnighter without the kids was too much) and get hitched the day before the conference!

So having made that very impromptu decision, we contacted our local registry office and booked the date and time of our wedding!

It's taken us ten years and 4 children to come to this decision, but hey, all good things come to those who wait, right?.. Well, let's hope so.

These two HUGE events in my life (Sorry to all of you romantics out there, but I do rate these events equally huge and exciting) have bought about the hyper side of my Bipolar. I'm now whizzing about like an out of control spinning top.

Some may think that this is brilliant, that I'm happy and excited and to a certain extent, it is. I mean, I do like feeling happy and I love feeling excited, but the down side is that Bipolar takes these feelings to the extreme.

Sleeping is a no go area. My brain is far too hyperactive. My body is exhausted. I mean, really exhausted.
Bipolar pushes you to your limits in every way and breaks through the boundaries of feelings you never thought you as a person would feel.

I have yet to find a way of 'balancing' these emotions and instead I seem to cycle through them at an alarming rate.

But for now I am content being happy and excited and will begin my preparations for next year.