Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The drugs don't work..

Some days are easier than others.

These past couple of weeks have been ridiculously difficult. There are several reasons for this, that I'm not sure that I should go into in such a public way, so I will condense and edit.

I had a problem with a good friend of mine, which resulted in a situation which I have been struggling to come to terms with. However, the end result is that my friend is much happier, so I shouldn't be disappointed. It's not that the matter didn't go my way, it's just that it was a compromise that I never thought I'd have to make, but knowing that she is happier now is making my struggle easier to deal with.

Things at home haven't been terribly easy of late either.
Problems with medication have been the underlying cause of these issues. Side effects, and simple lack of treating the issue they were prescribed for, doesn't help.

Tempers have been short, mainly due to the mistreatment and the house has felt a bit like a no mans land. 'Egg-shell' walking has been happening a lot recently.

Yet another visit to the GP is required and I have everything crossed that today is the day that she will prescribe some new meds that actually work and in turn will start to ease the tensions.

I am trying my best to keep busy and to be accommodating of the issues surrounding us at the moment, but I am at breaking point. I need new strategies and new ways of coping with this unfamiliar territory, because what I'm doing clearly isn't working.

I also have to be careful about how much I take on. Keeping busy for me is good, but it's fine line between busy and unmanageable. My fragile state of mind can't handle too much. The problem is, that I don't seem to be able to gauge how much is too much until I have already taken it on, which of course poses huge problems.

I have removed myself from some social media again and the ones I am still active on, I use sparingly. Knowing the difference between real life and online life is very important. I can't allow myself to become all-encompassing with it again.

So there you have it, a very quick update into my deranged world. See you again next time.