Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Regaining Myself

Can you have a 'Midlife Crisis' at the age of 27?

Well, I guess you can, if you are only going to be around until the ripe old age of 54! (eek!, that's not good for a start, is it?)

Anyway, since my diagnosis last week, I have been looking at my life with 'new' eyes

I would love nothing more then for things to change in my life and all the so-called 'Self Help' guru's tell you the same thing:

'If you want it, make it happen and get it'
So, it seems, it's all down to me!

Now, of course, the main drawback with any kind of depression, is that you truly cannot be arsed with anything, which makes this task somewhat harder.

My decision regarding going this Bipolar thing alone with no medication is not due to my inner hippy trying to escape and come to the forefront of my life, it's down to the fact that I’ve used antidepressants in the past and I didn't do well on them.

This in turn also makes things more difficult, as not only am I trying my darndest to fight this disorder, I am also pushing myself to make significant changes in my life to make it more worthwhile. This will then, hopefully have the desired positive effect needed to help with the depression.

The expression, 'Swings and roundabouts' comes to mind..

This is what I am treating as my very premature midlife crisis, and I WILL overcome this.

This will be a very slow process, which makes me sad, as I don't like to wait!
I get annoyed and depressed, which is extremely detrimental to the task in hand.

I am no writer, (as you can tell from this very blog) and therefore must apologise for my ramblings. However, I am going to attempt to post a weekly blog to help me achieve my mission impossible.

Photos, quotations, and any other suitable inspiration material I can get my hands on to help me regain my lust for life and improve my Bipolar Cycle symptoms.

Along with this I am going to improve my general home life by trying to regain my former organisation self.

Gone are the days when I used to be able to cope with the kids and the housework at the same time!

I refuse to let my beautiful, intelligent children suffer with a less then adequate mother for any longer, they deserve a mother who is happy and confident and.. well not what I am today.

I am going to do exactly what all those self help guides tell me and..

'Make it happen'

(Is it wrong to be extremely nervous and scared by all of this already..?)

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