Thursday, 3 May 2012

One Day at a Time

Yesterday was a bit of a break through for me, in that I managed to write a post that seemed to convey the message I wanted it to. This made me happy.

This has also compelled me to write again today. I don't know how long this will last, so if you do read my ramblings, make the most of it!

Writing a blog post every day is not my usual thing. I know a lot do it and some even do more than one on any given day, but, for me, that is a very unreal expectation.

My mood swings with Bipolar are so fraught that the extra pressure of trying to write everyday is just too much for me to cope with.

Last week, I once again removed myself from Twitter and Google +.
If truth be told, despite feeling incredibly lonely and isolated, the interaction of social media networks such at Twitter is overwhelming. I am just not good at keeping up with such a large 'audience'.

I also develop relationships all too easily and then end up either upsetting people or am left feeling devastated when my trust and friendship are not returned. The problem is that if I click with someone, I invest everything I have into that. (I guess that's the loneliness thing) It makes me feel safe and happy to have a close friend that I can confide in. Yet, despite this genuinely positive impact this kind of relationship has on me, I must learn not to do it.

I have added yet another note in my ever increasing book of things to remember when my brain goes super squiffy.

When manic, I find it difficult to not blur lines, no matter how innocent or funny I think I'm being, it doesn't always come across that way to others involved. But mania has no filter, so I must constantly remind myself of this.

I have officially been Bipolar for 2 years now, and I am still on a very steep learning curve. It sucks. Big time.

I have to learn to be patient (not one of my strong points) and to just take one day at a time.

Thanks for reading.

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