Thursday, 5 August 2010

Not for the easily offended..

As my bipolar cycles kick into overdrive, I have come to realise that no one is safe when I am at the top of my 'game'.

It seems that I turn into some crazed wild animal, ready to pounce upon my prey at a seconds notice.

It really is a need. An obsessive, compulsive itch that must be scratched.

I don't want meaningful 'love' making, I need rough, hard, give it to me right now hot kinda sex.
Once is never enough.

I feel incredibly powerful, and sexy. I'd even go as far as to say irresistible. (?!)

The need to be touched and paid attention to, is acutely strong.

My persona distinctly changes and I become this seriously over confident, lustful, nymphomaniac.
I wear out my poor other half, who doesn't know what the hell has hit him, and I still want more!

I have no control over this. Seriously. I have tried to curb my 'enthusiasum' to little or no effect.

I am frustrated beyond belief. And nothing helps.

I feel like I've been torn in two. Mild schizophrenia or something?
One day I am Kerry, mother of 4, dowdy housewife. The next, I'm Kerry, filth for brains, sex crazed MILF!!!

Apparently, or so my Doctor says, this is completely normal for someone like myself who suffers with such intense cycles of Bipolar. I have been told to 'go with the flow' and to 'play out my fantasies'

The problem is, it's not about 'fantasy' it's simply about the urgent need to have huge bouts of sex. Over and over and over again.

I find people, in general more sexy. More appealing and attractive. I find talking about sex easier.
Of course, I would never, EVER, even for one second contemplate anyone but Drew. (Well, there is 'The List' obviously, but everyone has one of them. The unlikely chance meeting of a overly perfect hot celeb when you can have one night and not answer for it..)

Is it unrealistic of me to want to have that kind of great 'got to have it, rough, dirty' kind of sex that you see in the movies? (and I'm not talking porn here people)
The kind of sex which leaves you both feeling drained and breathless and glowing.

Now, I'm not saying for a moment, that the sex I do have isn't up to standard, believe me I have no issues on that score! But it's a different kind of fulfilment. A different itch which needs to be scratched in a particular way.

Maybe it is all about fantasy after all..


  1. well written! And hell, I go through periods like that and I don't have a diagnosis. Maybe it's normal? Maybe Im not? After all, I did manage to kill BOB. I don't think many women can claim that. Or maybe they can, they just dont tell the world! LOL


  2. You brave girl... :-D I know where to come if I feel the need for a talk dirty guest post!

    The thing about movie sex is you are not actually taking part in it, rather you are watching it, perhaps that is an area you could explore in fantasy - don't go hurting yourself trying to get that mirror on the ceiling!

    Also, longterm couples are not usually the focus for these scenes, boy meets girl, thrown together, strangely attracted - sex scene...
    Not couple shacked up for 6 years with the daily grind of work and 4 children to deal with - sex scene - sorry, wouldn't sell in holywood! Got any good babysitters so you could escape for an afternoon/weekend?

    If the "content" is fine then you need to look at the setting and other "props" ;-)

  3. haha! Thanks ladies..
    Lisa, BOB will always have a special place in all of our hearts.. RIP you poor man!!!

    Julie, I would be more then happy to do that kind of guest post!!!!

    I guess it's difficult to get up a good kind of momentum with 4 kids in the house without waking anyone!!! ;)

  4. I think it's fabulous that you are so happy with your sex life - even if on occasions you'd like something a little more animalistic. Sounds like your partner's a lucky man ;)