Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The drugs don't work..

Some days are easier than others.

These past couple of weeks have been ridiculously difficult. There are several reasons for this, that I'm not sure that I should go into in such a public way, so I will condense and edit.

I had a problem with a good friend of mine, which resulted in a situation which I have been struggling to come to terms with. However, the end result is that my friend is much happier, so I shouldn't be disappointed. It's not that the matter didn't go my way, it's just that it was a compromise that I never thought I'd have to make, but knowing that she is happier now is making my struggle easier to deal with.

Things at home haven't been terribly easy of late either.
Problems with medication have been the underlying cause of these issues. Side effects, and simple lack of treating the issue they were prescribed for, doesn't help.

Tempers have been short, mainly due to the mistreatment and the house has felt a bit like a no mans land. 'Egg-shell' walking has been happening a lot recently.

Yet another visit to the GP is required and I have everything crossed that today is the day that she will prescribe some new meds that actually work and in turn will start to ease the tensions.

I am trying my best to keep busy and to be accommodating of the issues surrounding us at the moment, but I am at breaking point. I need new strategies and new ways of coping with this unfamiliar territory, because what I'm doing clearly isn't working.

I also have to be careful about how much I take on. Keeping busy for me is good, but it's fine line between busy and unmanageable. My fragile state of mind can't handle too much. The problem is, that I don't seem to be able to gauge how much is too much until I have already taken it on, which of course poses huge problems.

I have removed myself from some social media again and the ones I am still active on, I use sparingly. Knowing the difference between real life and online life is very important. I can't allow myself to become all-encompassing with it again.

So there you have it, a very quick update into my deranged world. See you again next time.


  1. big bi huge hugs hunny!!!!!

  2. I'm glad you eventually plucked up the courage to go and see your GP. I hope you're able to find some suitable medication that really helps. As Confucius said, "Every journey starts with a single step". All the best, and take care.

    1. I wish I could take credit for that 'single step' however, I am not referring to my own medication. :(:

  3. I wish I had been to the GP earlier as me not going resulted in my losing everything, divorce, house, kids, dog! All because I was too scared to admit that there was something wrong. I know exactly how it affects family life and how difficult it can be for those around the sufferer. But there is life at the end of the tunnel. . . eventually as long as you can come to terms with it yourself as well as then helping those around you too as well. xxx

    1. I am very much aware of my situation. As is my GP and my therapist and my family.
      I chose to not medicate, but use different therapies and methods to cope, as I feel it is better for me that way. I have been on meds and they just don't suit me at the moment. I would rather feel something, no matter how bad, than nothing at all.
      I have come to terms with my condition. :)