Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Blognonymous - A response

I am writing this in response to a beautifully honest Blognonymous post on the lovely Jay's blog, Mocha Beanie Mummy
The title of this post was 'Warning-Dead baby alert' and you can find it here.

I have had mixed reactions writing / talking about this subject. And it is only recently that I have started to talk about it.

Like the anonymous lady who wrote the post, I too have glossed over details and put a smile on my face and tried to put it to the back of my mind. But why should parents, like us, be made to feel guilty or wrong by speaking up about our experiences?

We don't comment on others blogs regarding their 'perfect' birth stories or doting mother style posts about their great lives with their fabulous living children. We respect them. We comment (if desired) appropriately, while hiding our grief that we never got to enjoy those feelings or have those memories with our own child/ren.

If you don't want to read a post containing a taboo subjects, don't read it.
What I, and I suspect many other parents of children who are no longer with us, would give to be able to just hit that little red 'X' at the top of our screens and close down those words. Those thoughts and feelings, as if they had never happened.

A blog is a personal space, for which we should be able to write whatever we want to. The definition of a blog is
'A website that allows users to reflect, share opinions, and discuss various topics in the form of an online journal'                                        

We invite people to read these blogs. Not for all the 'followers' (well, I certainly don't anyway) Not to 'show off' or publicise ourselves. Many, like me invite people to read their blogs, simply to feel alive. To feel like a real person in the world and sometimes, just sometimes, when writing posts like the Blognonymous one mentioned above, inspire, strengthen and help others by speaking up about our horrific experiences, as well as our great.

I have nothing but admiration for these people. Their strength helps me to continue along my path and know that I am not alone in my experiences, good or bad.


  1. I just read that blog and was choking on my tears. How incredibly brave and strong of hat lady to share such a painful experience. I have never experienced losing a child, but the mere thought of it sends chills down my spine. Reading through some of the comments I wholeheartedly agree that blogging should be appreciated for what it is, an honest and uncensored look at REAL life, not airbrushed edited nonsense and shallow self indulgence. Its 2010 and this is a way for us all to share and connect, and I find it very sad that people are not prepared to read about the darker issues that affect us all, whether it be depression, loss, trauma etc.
    Kerry I hold you in high regard not only for the lovely person you are, but also for reaching out your hand to someone to offer understanding and love. Let's hope more people have the courage to talk frankly about all issues without feeling the need to censor for the sake of other peoples reactions. Peace everyone xxxx

  2. Lovely thoughtful response my friend :-D You are so right.

  3. Thanks for the lovely comment Deni xxx